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Of Life. Of Love.
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orangeeeeyy Missyan

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sometimes I really feel its better not to feel anything at all.
Not having to feel,
not having to think.
Not having to numb yourself with things to do, yet at the end of the day you realise nothing gets done.
I don't know.
I don't want to know.

Maybe we're better off like that.

It's raining outside nowwwwwwww.


and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 02:10


Sunday, September 27, 2009

Someone told me something today.
Whenever you feel everything around you is dark and all you can see is just shadows and darkness,
always remember.
For that shadow to be there, there must have been a light source.
So bear with that shadow for now, and look for that light source!

That made things feel better. Really.
Girlfriends helped alot alot alot too. Go away shadow! I want to search for my light source. I don't want to be girl B.

But why does it still hurt so much?
I don't want to feel anymore.
Think anymore.


and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 03:42


Friday, September 11, 2009

Spent the whole freaking night just thinking in circles and circles.

Do you love that someone, or are you in love with that person?
Then, are you in love with that someone, or are you just in love with the feeling of being in love?
Is every single relationship just a habit that you're used to, or it's a habit you don't want to kick?
Is that how every relationship with slowly turn into?
A habit. Then slowly, eventually, a routine.
Why is that the person you love the most would not be the one you eventually spend your lifetime with?
If it's really like that, then which one of them would you rather be?
Roomie asked this question last night that left me feeling very very lost.
Isn't it every girl's dream to spend a lifetime with someone whom you love the most and who love you the most? That's why you chose that path isn't it.

Then again, how do you quantify love.

Why love needs to be so complicated.
Why must you all burst the pretty bubble.
Why complicate something that is meant to be so beautiful.
WHY.
Why can't love be like Carl and Ellie's story.
Amazingly beautiful.
Simple.
Yet words will never be enough to describe their love they share.

It didn't use to be so complicated in my world.
I still believe, if he/she is the right one, everything would fall into place.
Isn't it?????????????????
If it is really so complicated.
I rather not love anymore.
Not feel anymore.
Ever.
Ever.

"It's better to love and lost than never to have loved before."
I don't believe.
I think it'll be too painful.

I shouldn't have read that stupid physics book.
Now I kept thinking about parallel universe and thinking about which of the many 'me' is making that decision. Well, at the very least, maybe one of 'me' found that fairytale.


and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 15:05


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I feel very very tired all of a sudden.
Don't feel like doing anything at all.
Just feel that life's passing me by.

Seconds.
Minutes.


and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 23:14