All That Glitters Isn't Gold.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.

Well, holiday's over.
And I'm back where I left it.
Truth be told, I didn't want to come home initially.
At all.
Not only cos Korea's beautiful.
But I guess I just couldn't bear to finish off what I left back here at home.
I was there without my phone and it felt that I restarted everything that I had.
It felt like I was in another new world.
I got myself connected to my world for 20 minutes and it left me nothing but dismal silence.
Disappoinment.
Regrets.
Melancholy.
I want to run away. Escape. I wish.
It never came true and I'm back.

It's okay. No worries.
Talked to a friend.
Met another one.
And yeah, it's part and parcel of life.
It's not about what you get at the end.
It's about the process :]

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you're gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.
-Miley Cyrus, The Climb

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 21:54

Friday, May 22, 2009

Much Ado About Nothing

BENEDICK
I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is
not that strange?

BEATRICE
As strange as the thing I know not. It were as
possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as
you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I
confess nothing, nor I deny nothing.

Beautiful.
Yay. I finally got my wish of watching a play under the stars :D Much Ado About Nothing was (and is still) being played by the Singapore Repertory Theatre, in Fort Canning Park. Pity it was a little too cloudy. Then again, I rather that than the slight drizzle minutes before the show.

It was a charming night watching a Shakespearean work in such an outdoor setting. I just love the different experience that you get from watching this play compared to what you get in conventional theatres. Not that I dislike the latter but I guess there's a entirely new charisma about it. We got a chance to be close to the stage and you feel the whole play literally come to life around you. What comes after that is just plain amazement for three hours :D :D

Hmmmm.. I can't quite recall when was the last time I caught a play. But it feels great to get in touch with theatre again, even as an audience. I'm satisfied :D

There's always been this impeccable charm about theatre and the stage that makes you just fall in love with it every single time. To me at least.

And I know for sure, theatre will never be 'Much Ado About Nothing'.

Same goes for Love as well :]

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 00:24

Thursday, May 21, 2009

TA!

Just came home from schools' programme. I guess to a certain extend I still find it amazing how things have changed and to be what they are today.

It seems like just yesterday I was one of many faces in the crowds attending schools' programme. That was when YY was our TA. AND NOW HE'S ALREADY A TRAINER. I think my girls would still remember that three days spent in school in our DRAMA STUDIO. (I nearly forgot the name. Maybe it's suggesting time to go visiting.)

It's like plain NOSTALGIA.

Yet today, I'm officially sitting at the back messing around with the sound system. Interesting switch in roles. :]

Although I was only there for like half a day and took on an onlooker role, I still could feel the same amount of emotions and goosebumps, if not more. It's great to listen to trainings again and feel part of this whole Make A Difference family. I really got to see how it is like to put in a part of yourself during camps. That's what we all do don't we? Coaching is about sharing and giving away a part of yourself.

Everyday, the trainers meet and train students that they'll never see or meet again. If so, what drives them further? Well. I guess sometimes you just have to think with your heart and do whatever that you feel is right. It's the same with coaching I feel.

What drives me? I guess it's the same reasons that make Andrea tear today. All it takes is just a small note of thanks.

We may think that we mean nothing, but to someone out there, you could have made a dent, either big or small, in his/her universe. Never doubt what you can do, because nothing's too big that you can't do. Today I stepped into the school thinking it'll just be a nostalgic session, do my job then pack up and leave. When the TAs were on our way to flag a cab back home, a few of the girls came up to us and handed over a bottle of drink to us to thank us. It was just a gesture of goodwill but it meant a lot. I guess that's what people all need, to feel appreciated.

So many thoughts in that few hours.

It's really great to work with people who have so much passion in whatever they do. People who have so much belief in the world.
People who speaks from the heart.
People who just make you have faith in love again.
Love not in terms of romantic love.
It's a kind of love that is like no other.

Tomorrow's at St marg's!

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 14:10

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Do you feel good today???

I FEEL GOOD!
Was at camp launch the other day. Felt the sudden urge to do camps :(
I MISS:
Where's the peanut
Superhero claps
Slippery slope
Postman walk
Hungry cheer
WHOOSAYYYY.

They're having camp at the other side of the island now.
RAH.
SIAN.
BLAH.
It's okay, at least I got a lunch date tomorrow.

DEAREST DING,
enjoy camp :] I'll be with you in spirits. I'LL MISS YOU. Give me a WHOOSAY!!!!!! See you in a long long while............. SIGH.

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 23:51

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Love Only Thyself.

Read this some time ago. Food for thought :]

There's a legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

Legend has it that it was how the word 'narcissistic' came about.

But this was not how the author of the book ended the story.

When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

'Why do you weep?' the goddesses asked.
'I weep for Narcissus,' the lake replied.
'Ah. it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,' they said, 'for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.'

'But...was Narcissus beautiful?' the lake asked.
'Who better than you to know that?' the goddesses said in wonder. 'After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!'

The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said,

'I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.'

We all love ourselves more than anything else don't we?

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 15:47

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Never A Fairytale :]

Recently I've gotten chances to see things that I didnt want to see.
It's like I stopped living in self denial.
Self denial is a dangerous thing. Right.
I see things a lot clearer now.
A little less complicated.
But a little less pretty too.
A little uglier, a little more painful.
It's okay, at least I see my world clearer now.
And I can breathe a little easier too.

Thanks for showing me that my world is not that pretty after all.
Now I know what's truly important.
Those that don't matter, be gone, good riddance.
Better now than never.

I'm stepping out from my door that you've broke open.
I'm moving out from things and people that don't matter.
It's going to hurt real bad.
It's going need alot of screaming and cursing and swearing maybe.
I use to think for awhile.
Why tear down everything I had, make me believe in nothing else but you.
What does it leave me with when you finally leave?
That was what that scares me more than anything else.
It was never what I saw that upset me.
It was knowing the fact that I was going to be left behind in that mess that had me thnking.

Yet now I know, I won't be falling and you'll always be not far away.
We lose some, we win some :]
Somehow or other, I'm feeling a change up ahead.
I feel a change inside.
It's like realisation of things around me just spark a certain something inside.

It's different now.
I was never a princess.
And it was never a fairytale.
There's so much more I want to do now :]

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 23:28

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dreamer

I am a dreamer.
A believer.
If only I'd grown up a little faster.

I suddenly miss that someone who use to be awake at this time to give midnight calls.

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 00:47

Friday, May 1, 2009

Vivian wants to make things right.

She's sorry for whatever negative things I said,
erase away all those words said in impulse,
throw out all pessismistic thoughts,
and she's very apologetic if it was said for the veneer of vanity.
She want to take away, erase away and throw out all of it,
just to make things right again.

She just want things to be back like how they were again.
How things were planned as they were supposed to.
Let it be please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.

:(

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 23:00

It's Been Four Great Months.

30 April 2009 (a few hours short)
Four months since 31st of December came with a huge surprise, took my breath away and made so many changes to my life.

I spent my half my day thinking about the people that came into my world just in this short span of time.

Some came and lingered on.
Some came and left.
Some came, made a lot of noise and then left.
Some came with a bang then slowly fade away.
Some were already around but came closer and stayed on longer.
Some came and inspired.
Some came and sweep you off your feet then left as quickly as they came, leaving you deep in thoughts figuring out what has just happened.
Some re-appeared amazingly and which leaves you back in that same reverie.
Some became always there.
Some became a phone call away.
Some become like a habit. A bad habit you can't kick.
:D :D :D

I stood at the entrance of zoo today and thought about it all day.
And all of a sudden, I just felt very loved.
Because of all these people, I really felt very loved.
For those who were there and those who were not.
Cos those who were not made me feel how loved I am from thsoe who were around all the time.

In the whole wide world, billions of people walk past each other everyday. Yet, out of all that chances, I'm lucky to have stopped by and met you :]

I'm really really very lucky.

So I'm going to give you that love while I can too :]

and there she goes chasing her fairytales, 02:07